Forum Home → Discussion → Income support, JSA and tax credits → Thread
Pilot Scheme Announced for enforced presence of job adviser in clients’ homes
The DWP has announced that from 1st April 2014, people seeking work will have to admit a job adviser from a private company in to their homes for 35 hours a day to supervise jobsearch activities.
“We have listened to those who say that claimants cannot afford to travel to Jobcentres every day” said a man with an odd, disturbing gleam in his eye, “so we have decided that they will be attended to in their own homes.”
Advisers will arrive at 9am and leave at 5am the next day. They have the right to break in if refused entry.
They will supervise claimant’s job-search if they have internet access, or just stand over them and growl a lot if they haven’t. Claimants will be expected to apply for googol jobs a week.
Claimants do not have to feed the advisers but are obliged to allow them access to ‘comfort stations and the odd cup of tea’ but if they put the adviser up overnight, “You’re still getting Bedroom-Taxed, don’t try to get clever.”
It is understood that a new welfare to work company, Nosa Costra, has obtained the initial contract form the DWP. “We look forward to working very, very closely with claimants.” said a spokesman. “I mean very closely.” He would say no more, owing to a new DWP rule called the Omerta.
Few further details are available, owing to the Treasury saying this is the DWP’s idea and the DWP saying it’s the Treasury’s idea, and a Mr Bert Scoggins of Fegg Hayes claiming it was all his idea and he ‘wants paying a bob or two for it too’.
“35 hours a day”!!?
That is really harsh ;)
Ohh it’s a joke! Just got it…
Andrew : did you know that DWP staff access Rightsnet?
Dont give them ideas!
Hillarious! :D
Perhaps half the unemployed population could be employed for half the week to go into the other half’s houses and browbeat them into applying for non existent jobs. At lunchtime on Wednesday they swap round. This makes EVERYONE employed part time and solves unemployment at a stroke!
I can’t imagine why I am not highly paid adviser to IDS!
Perhaps half the unemployed population could be employed for half the week to go into the other half’s houses and browbeat them into applying for non existent jobs. At lunchtime on Wednesday they swap round. This makes EVERYONE employed part time and solves unemployment at a stroke!
I can’t imagine why I am not highly paid adviser to IDS!
Except if they are u/25 according to Cameron (see news story) they probably won’t have a home!
Thanks for putting some humour into my day! Hilarious indeed